Flourless Pancakes

Posted on December 10, 2014 by mireyfaema

Vegetarian Chili

Posted on June 26, 2014 by mireyfaema

What I ate

The recipe courtesy of http://allrecipes.com/recipe/the-best-vegetarian-chili-in-the-world/

Dish Attempted: Vegetarian Chili

Dish Made: Gloopy Tomato Soup with Vegetables

Taste: Regular

Did Others Eat This: Yes

Fail Scale Rating 1-10: 3

Well, I think the biggest problem I experienced was caused due to lack of chili powder.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have chili powder, it was just that I didn’t add enough

First I cooked some vege’s

I don’t know why my hand looks so fat in photo’s but it does.

This picture made me realize I will never be a hand model.

Then I added some Tomatoes

Things were looking good

I ran into a problem when I discovered I didn’t have a lid for my pot.

Luckily I am resourceful.

Ingredients

Chili is only chili if you add a significant amount of chili….if you fail to add a significant amount of chili then all you end up making is a thick tomato soup!!!!

Macaroni & Cheese

Posted on June 3, 2014 by mireyfaema

Recipe

What I ate

Dish Attempted: Annie’s Macaroni & Cheese

Dish Made: Bacon Macaroni

Taste: Pretty good actually

Did Others Eat This: No

Fail Scale Rating 1-10: 2

Yes, I cheated a little and made something out of box

BUT I have been away on vacation and box food was all I had when I got home!!

And lets get serious the chances of me screwing this up were still pretty high!

In fact I almost screwed this up with the first step because I didn’t have a pot big enough to complete the mix as per the instructions.

My pot was too small but it worked out

I didn’t grab enough bacon

This time I followed all of the instructions and the only substitution I made was using almond milk instead of regular milk!

Making the sauce as per the instructions

Mixed it all together and BOOM

Ingredients

Life is about 100 times more easy when you cook things out of a box!!!

I promise to try and cook real things next week!

Bacon Wrapped Asparagus Bundles

Posted on May 13, 2014 by mireyfaema

Recipe courtesy of http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rachael-ray/bacon-wrapped-asparagus-bundles-recipe.html

What I ate

Dish Attempted: Bacon Wrapped Asparagus Bundles

Dish Made: BACON WRAPPED ASPARAGUS BUNDLES!!!!!!

Taste: Delicious

Did Others Eat This: No

Fail Scale Rating 1-10: 1

OK I know it doesn’t look the best but believe it or not NOTHING went wrong with this dish!!!

Apart from the obvious side effects of eating asparagus and living with arteries that have now been clogged by bacon I would say this feast was a pure success!!!

I rolled my defrosted asparagus in the bacon

Then put it in the oven

Then waited a while and BOOM – Idiot Proof Bacon Wrapped Asparagus!!!

BOOM!!!

Ingredients

Mess

When you start get sick of humiliating yourself on the internet as you attempt to cook, pick an idiot proof recipe and NAIL IT!!

This will help you boost your self esteem to an unreasonable level so that the desire to try and make ridiculously difficult meals will return

Paleo Chocolate Cake

Posted on April 30, 2014 by mireyfaema

The Recipe http://www.supergluemom.com/paleo-chocolate-cake-recipe-grain-free/

What I ate

Dish Attempted: Paleo Chocolate Cake

Dish Made: A giant piece of dry shit

Taste: meh

Did Others Eat This: No

Fail Scale Rating 1-10: 9

FIRSTLY, I DECIDED TO MAKE A PALEO CHOCOLATE CAKE AT 1AM

I read a recipe a long time ago and purchased the ingredients from memory.

Unlike last week where I was left with 200 eggs this time I didn’t have enough.

I had to pick a new recipe last minute….I also had a to make a lot of substitutes

Substitute for eggs

Substitute for honey

The instructions said “Place coconut milk, honey, eggs, and vanilla extract inside your blender”

Which is CRUEL.

Because I started “PLACING” them into the dry ingredient bowl before I got to the part that mentioned a blender.

Things started off well

This happened more than once

Things got messy!!

My computer became a casualty

It looked more like chocolate moose than cake mix

Things became complicated when I discovered I don’t own a cake tin!

The cupcake tray was still destroyed from my last attempt at cooking

Things started looking better

The tray was too big for the cake mix

So I improvised

So I had to use a saucepan

Ingredients

Mess

Baking is a science……I am not a scientist

Oven Scrambled Eggs

Posted on April 22, 2014 by mireyfaema

What I ate.

The Recipe http://allrecipes.com/recipe/oven-scrambled-eggs

Dish Attempted: Oven Scrambled Eggs

Dish Made: Evil Demon Eggs who were plotting to kill me!!!

Taste: Although I succeeding making what I set out to make. The taste was bland….very bland!

Did Others Eat This: Yes, but not enough!! I’ve been stuck eating this for 3 days now.

Fail Scale Rating 1-10: 1

Surprisingly not that much…

I am now realizing exactly how much butter I have consumed over the past 3 days!!!

SO MUCH BUTTER AND SO MANY EGGS

Hens of the world hate me!

My ass hates me!

My bowl was too small for 24 eggs.

I whisked too fast and egg sprayed in my eye!!

In case you forgot here is another reminder about the butter!!!

I probably should have used a bigger tray.

Things didn’t look that appealing.

At one point the eggs started to form their own planet!!!!

I began to realize that they were plotting to take over my apartment

by mimicking THE BLOB!!!

Things started to get a little terrifying.

SO I spoiled their plans by stabbing them to death with spoons!!!

TAKE THAT DEMON EGGS

Human -1, Baked Eggs – 0

Ingredients

Mess

Egg Cemetery

Don’t trust eggs, they continue to live their lives even after you think they are dead!!

Add more salt..to every thing…. or it will taste like nothing!

Don’t leave egg shells sitting in the compost bin under your sink for days

or your house will begin to smell extremely offensive!!!

Halve the recipe unless you want to live on Oven Scrambled Eggs for the rest of the year!!

Coconut Flour Cheese Crackers

Posted on April 9, 2014 by mireyfaema

Courtesy of http://www.freecoconutrecipes.com/index.cfm/2011/10/17/coconut-flour-cheese-crackers

What I ate

Dish Attempted: Coconut Flour Cheese Crackers

Dish Made: Shredded Cheese rolled in Coconut Flour

Taste: Dusty, extremely dry, sad

Did Others Eat This: Yes

Fail Scale Rating 1-10: 8

I thought my single serve smoothie blender had the same capabilities as a food processor

Note To Self: Blender is not equal to food processor

When that didn’t work I tried some alternatives and discovered the only kitchen appliance that is equivalent to a food processor…is a food processor